I don’t want my blog to keep you online

I am conflicted with what I should do with this blog. On one hand, I don’t want to contribute to the ever-growing mass of online content drawing people away from their real lives and onto their phones.

On the other hand, I want to use this blog to find my voice and to create. I want to learn to write and communicate in an engaging way, and I want to indulge in the things I already love to consume: interior design and fashion.

But I must confess, my love for interior design and fashion comes from a place of escapism and fantasy, and not a love for the thing itself. I dislike watching high fashion or unattainable interior design, because rather than loving design for itself, I would rather fantasize about a life that I do not currently have. I want that beautiful décor in my own home, those expensive clothes on my own back, and a seemingly perfect life.

Thus, I find myself spending all of my free time fantasizing, “shopping”, and scrolling. I would rather turn my brain off, learn nothing, and experience nothing. I know I’m not alone.

I came across a really great video about life and time (while rotting in bed scrolling). It had one very simple concept that stuck with me:

Either you work, or you play. Nothing in between.

When I’m scrolling and consuming, I’m not really “playing”. I am losing precious pieces of my finite life. We are in an “attention economy”. Every minute of our lives is tracked, and every effort is made to keep us online, to keep showing us ads, to keep us unsatisfied with our own lives.

I really don’t know what to do with this blog. My plan was to spend my first year just writing, trying to find my voice and a direction.

Over the last few weeks, I tried to create fashion content similar to what I already love to consume, but I’m realizing I can’t authentically do that.

What I really want, is for people to get offline, accept their own lives as they are, and cherish what they have. It’s what I want for myself as well.

I don’t know how to promote that while also making online content. There are a few things I’ve found online that have helped me come to my senses mid-scroll.

For example, the “rest here weary traveler” meme.

As well as this short video:

And this form of meditation that is so much better for active minds:

These things felt like beacons scattered across the internet, like islands of safety where I could catch my breath and make a conscious decision.

Perhaps, I will document my journey towards a better lifestyle. About the tiny steps I’m taking to get offline and into the real world. Perhaps that would be healthier for me, produce a more authentic message, and do some good?

Is an offline lifestyle still related to a “style library”?

Is it too late to pivot?